Shy Goodbye

My second kitten came home for a gift for my first kitten. Guilt pushed me to do it, I felt bad leaving my first kitten alone all day and thought a second was a great idea. Little did I know what and how things would change.

It was a completely different experience, what drew me to Shy was he was just a ball of fur, reminded me of well, me. If looking at very early pictures of myself, hair going every direction almost as if electrocuted, his fur the same way. On the ride home, unlike Rascal who constantly attempted to escape from the box, it was almost as if Shy wasn't even in the box, calm. At their first meeting, Rascal was anything but impressed. Shy on the other hand, I'm not even sure he knew another cat was even around. Rascal relentlessly attacked Shy, knocking him over without him having any idea what even happened. I was actually fearful for him and wondered if I didn't make a huge mistake, I didn't.



Naming Shy was obvious. The little guy always seemed to look down awkwardly. His purr, nothing more than heavy breathing. Looking back, I really believe Shy probably wasn't eight weeks old when I got him. Maybe that's what caused him to be inappropriately named. Fast forward a few months and something happened the last visit to the vet and his personality changed. Gone were the characteristics of shyness, and hello friendly, buggy, annoying, pestering kitten.



Shy was anything but the typical cat, greeting guests at the door more like a dog. Begging for rubs, okay, that may have been my biggest mistake teaching him that. Sleeping on his back. Didn't like treats, just his normal food. He did enjoy beating on, terrorizing his sister, which I assume was payback for all that early mistreatment she did to him. Almost everybody who saw him, commented on how big or fat he was. I enjoyed "defending" his honor by responding with "he's not fat, he's fluffy"!

Shy really did have to endure biased parenting on my part. The poor little guy had to put up with probably a ten to one ratio of pictures to the first child. It wasn't fair and I do feel bad for it. I'm sure the amount of rubs went the opposite way, but that was pure effort on Shy's part. Even though he had every right to be jealous, you'd never know it.

It's been hard these past few years not seeing Shy or his sister(s). Thirteen years is a long time to bond, even if it's an animal, they still feel like my kids. It has been a constant worry of mine that the last time I'd see them was the day I dropped them off at their new house and one day I'd get the message that one passed away. It just so happened that I got a chance to watch them for a week, just before the start of the new year. Emotions were high, wondering if they would remember me, would they have forgotten me, or worse would there be resentment.

My first visit didn't go as expected. I really expected all kinds of curiosity, which would make me feel like they remembered me, instead it was the exact opposite. They all didn't seem to care, is this the cold shoulder? Of course it felt like that, but I believe enough time had passed where they really didn't remember me, which is probably a good thing. Speaking of memories, with my visits, I could clearly see the signs of old age. These weren't the kittens who would destroy the house getting into constant mischief anymore. Seeing this, also made me appreciate being able to see them one more time.

It's hard to avoid using the cliche, things happen for a reason. But it really feels like that knowing I was worried about not seeing them again, knowing that they are getting older, and then hearing the news that Shy passed away only a few weeks after getting my visit. I feel very lucky that I got my chance.


Shy Kitten (Early September 1998 - January 14, 2015)

Shy, you really are a great cat. Going to miss all the things that made you special. "Snake-head", who could forget that? No such thing as a bad rub, the harder the better. The purrs, not even sure how to describe them in words, but that little motor sound will always be with me. Butt-knots, your fur really was a mess buddy at times! Thank you for keeping me entertained and company all those years. Love you and miss you!